can't stand the blackness no more.

life's short so party. or at least tat's the bare theory of it.
but we can't party all the time can we, it will just make us empty all inside.

living to die, dying to live, carpe diem and so on with the other words.

seriously, we are just germs on earth's surface and we live barely under a century.

so why the fuck do we worry bout so much? bills,education,work,family, bah.

look at froggie. he didn't knew he was goin to be dissected when i bought him from the restaurant rite?

damn i miss jamming.

warning.

don't scroll down if u don't want to see froggie.

























































.

Froggie. or wat's left.

he was sacrificed in the name of science.


there's another vid of us deboning froggie.

but.

i don't tink i should post tat rite?

r.i.p

Froggy's dead. and it's my fault.


pics and videos coming up soon. it's bloody though.

my new pet.

i have a new pet.

it's called froggie the green.

i'm dissecting it tomoro morning.

poor froggie.

thump. thimp.

Have you ever heard the sound of RPG getting launched?


It starts with a soft sigh. then it shrieks and explodes.



boom.


i'm tinking too much.


god pls put my sane voice back in my mind again.


cny's next week yippee.



i love you and i can't prove it without lettin u fly.

awesome line.

of cos it was a pilot's wife which said tat.


but who cares.

bored.

I'm bored.



zeal's acrazy and i need a change of scenery.



ideas plenty and yet i feel braindead.




i need a whole day off with ppl around.


it's just january. dammit. i seriously miss christmas. X)

crazy dream.

i dreamed i was in 28 weeks later.


i was getting pursued. then. eaten alive.


everybody was a zombie. including. u.




is the dream just a mirror of wat's happening in the present?


i wan to be the zombie next time.

the great spy experiment.

it's a great band. hope they are opening for incubus.

then i hope they are playing the whole show.

mm.

i read. of cos i do.


i feel fizzled out. fizzle fizzle. hehe.


slip inside the eye of ur mind and check urself.


i did and i feel burned.

deaths are being reported every day. . .

and yet. . i don't feel for them. ur too rite?

strange how 6 months ago i was only thinking bout how to spend life together.

and now. . . i'm just thinking bout how to make it till tomorrow.


how i once to look at couples with a knowingness and a certain smile on my face with my eyes wide shut


now i just look at them and think : ''get a frigging room u idiots.''



i love christmas. it's the only time where everybody remembers u.

santa claus is coming to town falala. . .la. la. la.



*no matter how many ppl we may see or love, some of the ol love stil remains.*

don't u tink so?



happy chinese new year. early. of cos.

a look at life from a cheesy perspective. maccreamy.

"i tried!"
ur ain't trying hard enough! there's one thing u missed out! there there!!"
"tat's like a so small thing."
" it ain't!!''

that's like how my life is. almost of all of it. mostly the screaming part is done by concerned parents. -.- it made me learn tat looking over ur shoulder while ur doin something is highly. . . recommended. otherwise....nag nag.

life was a simple thing when u were a kid. eat. read a book. get rewarded. sweets mostly. peck ur parents cheek and get a peck back in return. run around in the sun till somebody grabs u out of it laughing or giving u a fuwahhhhh!! slap on the ass. sleeping with the nightlight. waiting by the door anxiously for dad to pop back home and run towards him.


tat felt like it was in the 1920's.


in the years before high school.. all i aquired was a skill in lightning fast copying and a great distaste in everything chinese. guess it was cos i was stuck in a chinese school and was whacked like 5? times a day for homework and getting treated like a outcast cos i didn't feel things the way the others do.

high school. "college'' they call my school X) sweet. being all guys..u can imagine wat happens when a girl walks past. Xp call it a involuntary reaction. haha. tat was when i was 13 or 14 though. more matured now. hopefully. X) been through a lot of stuff.had hurt and been hurt. getting awed by punk. .rock & roll..metal..now indie and the occasional girl strumming along to her words. baby i love tat. X) being an outcast doesn't matter anymore. . .cos everybody's one in a way. i mean..come on look at the faggots. heh. everything's grey now too, no such thing as being a good guy cos there's nothing such as pure. never was.

i'm nearing the end of my adolescent years. love pls kiss me. i'm finally free.



time to party.X)

f word. ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Okay. Dompet saya kena stolen. -.-

my wallet got stolen by a irate mofo. in school. with 110 bucks inside.

one hell of a week. first i get restreamed. then this happens. jesus. wat do u want to do next.
bang me with something hard?



and i really loved tat wallet.

really i did.

heh heh.

i got streamed back to my class.



how bloody awesome is tat? X)

seventeen. fuck. yeah.

seventeen. seventeen. seventeen. seventeen. seventeen.


fuck. i'm seventeen. X) (three months more to be exact.)

so i'm seventeen. heh. major exams down at the end of this year. but apart from all tat...
yep it's all good.

i have big big big plans. get a car. cooper baby. get a tattoo. or tattoos. a telecaster. fuh. X) love. play on a stage. score straight fucking a's. listen to kokokaina live. listen to the killers live. and one more thing. move out of my house by the end of the year.

it feels impossible. xp. too ambitious. but one thing's for sure..this wreck's finally walking again.

listening to the audio while waiting for my ride.

I wish i never X)

It's a saturday afternoon. my close friend left for down under in the morning.
i'm wearing my dirty jeans. i'm listening to Kokokaina, she's sweet. like a wiff of honey with daffodils. i love her voice. X)

I feel sad now,clearly. my friend just left after all. missing her along with missing someone else who holds my heart but she doesn't aknowledges it together makes it hard to bear. only listening to music and the quiet thoughts in my mind soothes my beating heart.

It's drizzling outside. it's wet and humid in here. my phone's silent and dead.
i'm goin to church in a while more. i'm wearing the bullet shaped necklace from rachel.
the lil gal just knows how to buy christmas gifts for me. wish i bought her back something though. perhaps her birthday.

You said that i was good for you but you pushed me aside
Now tell me does that seem right?
I've fallen for a pessimist
but God help me i tried
to get you out of it

so...

I wish i'd never fallen in love...
so deeply
I wish i'd never knew that love...
actually exists. but i do now.

She just sings it perfectly. X)

Daf's. . . . gone.

Daf's. . . . gone. she's flying to down under in an hour's time. i should be there with the rest, sending her off, but yet here i am,typing out my grievances to the blog. i tink i should talk a little bout her shouldn't i?

Well,Sarah Jane,She's my Daf( Dearest awesome friend) it may sound cheesy cos it is. well,let's recap...i first started talking to her in camp..when i was 13. X) she's da main influence to me playing guitar. incubus too. she gave me all sorts of lil memorabilia, which i kept till today.






every last one of her stuff is still in a lil shoebox. X)




Daf the woman. She Rocks Ma World!! X) haha

She's the quirkiest person i ever met apart from myself and a few others. heh. she's the bestest friend ever. We all miss her. A lot.






We Miss ya Woman!!

Influences.

firstly let me say i'm a hypocrite. X) alrite let's continue with the story.




the killers. heavy synth slash keyboard slash axe music. one of my top loves. X)



Arctic monkeys. Lovely Lovely Lovely brits. heh.



Yeah Yeah Yeahs. effing weird ppl heh x)

stop. look. go.

updating this. . . thing has never been easy for me. X) i'm so lazy.

well. . .seventeen. a new year. finally. Lots of shit happenened last year.
some good.. but mostly shit. heh.

guess i should be more mature now..am i? perhaps.

well i want to drive this year. go to a concert. get straight flat out A2's. 'can't be too greedy. X)'
love again. write 50 songs. own a telecaster. get signed. become more strong. physically. burn up the strips of magnesium i kept in my locker.

but most of all, i want to kiss 2007 a bigass goodbye. i'm still connected to it no matter what i do though.

so give me a kiss. . . . give me a hug.

2008 is here.

heroes.

I, I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together
We can beat them, for ever and ever.

We can be Heroes, just for one day.

I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing, nothing will drive them away
We can be Heroes, just for one day
We can be us, just for one day

I, I remember standing, by the wall
And the guns, shot above our heads
And we kissed, as though nothing could fall
And the shame, was on the other side
Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
Just for one day

well i was feeling down in the morning and this song poured out of the stereo.
it hit me real hard. X)