the flames.

stroking the barely there stubble on my face, i lounge in my chair in front of the pc again. just another day of the stupid hols. well,it does feel like it. today's memory of jamming feels so far away, it's as if im trying to bury everything and not remember again.perhaps. everything tat has went wrong has went wrong. guess zeke's right again, ''julian, ur always in trouble.''

troubles eh?
got a whole ton full of them. and i have no idea how to start unravelling the mess tat is my life. well,i still got to start somewhere don't i? goodbye babylon. wat would i give to give up. but i can't. at least my heart's not letting me. haha. well.....at least i'll be seeing a long lost friend on sat and i'll be leaving for a far place on next sat. hope the plane crashes and burn eh? heh. crash and burn. sounds good and painless. just like lost. but instead i'm dead and burned to hell instead of stranded on some stupid island with polar bears on it. hah. all the troubles start with me.i'm my own devil's confidant.no one else. just me, nyself running circles in my little head.


run run run run. bang. hit the wall.
blood flies everywhere.

hehe. blood.


i'm so bloody optimistic. the thoughts running through my head hurts me so much it makes me want to take a drink. god. guess just two weeks is enough to make u grow old eh? well it certainly did for me. god i really really need a drink.


there i'm babbling again. ah gods, haha.


EVERYBODY'S GONE,
IT LOOKS LIKE TEA FOR ONE AGAIN.
where were u.